6 Comments
May 9·edited May 10Liked by Ami Vora

"I’m more emotionally accessible." For me, this has been a fascinating and special part of becoming/being a mother. It's a sisterhood I didn't realize I was joining (not that I always feel a close kinship with other moms). Earlier this week, I started talking with a woman about the Adam Grant book she was reading, but we easily transitioned to an extended conversation about kids, work-life balance, etc. I didn't have these experiences a decade ago!

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May 9Liked by Ami Vora

Love the counter narrative! I relate deeply to what you shared, and I'd add that having something meaningful outside of work---for me, my kids---helps me stay grounded through the inevitable ups and downs of work. It helps me avoid placing too much emphasis on daily success at work.

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I really resonate with feeling more powerful and taking real breaks.

After going through the stresses of raising kids, I've become much more at peace with things that are out of my control, and feel more powerful with things that are within my control.

And it's so true that those simple moments with them are like meditation in a way, being forced to deeply observe simple things you normally would've dismissed - it's kind of a nice break from the thoughts running in your head.

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May 9Liked by Ami Vora

Thank you for sharing!

Such a great idea to have "counter-narrative" as you call it. I can relate so much to all the FOMO, guilt and just plain disappointment (in ourselves!) of trying to constantly juggle and balance parenthood with work. And oh yes, as a father of a very voluble, very energetic toddler, I can confidently say - there ain't no multitasking :D I remember recently having this conversation with a mentor of mine - and the ultimate question of "Is all of this, WORTH it?". Wholeheartedly agree with you that this is a personal quest for each individual - what is worth it in living one's life?

For me, the two biggest positives are:

(a) Efficiency - really getting crisp about where/why I am spending precious time (whether it is work or family) - and trying to find ways to make the maximum "impact" in that time.

(b) Shared stories and connection - Really wonderful to develop deeper connections with colleagues and friends by sharing struggles and listening to their stories - it all kind of helps put our "challenges" into perspective when we can identify and feel part of this bigger reality that everyone - no matter what their situation - is struggling with something and doing the daily balancing act to the best of their circumstance.

Once again, I am so grateful to have read this today! A wonderful reminder of the importance of finding the 'wins' :-)

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Just stumbled upon this and I feel like we are kindred spirits as I wrote on a similar topic a bit ago: https://blog.mindthebeet.com/p/what-being-a-parent-teaches-me-about?utm_source=publication-search

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I really hope when someone is saying they have resources, they can really say how much resource they have to make things work. And how much implied knowledge about the system they have learned from their parents, friends and relatives helped them when they needed it. Both I and my husband are immigrants and we had zero knowledge about how to navigate healthcare system during pregnancy and how the childcare system works. We also have no relatives here, and even I have friends who gave birth before, we wouldn’t talk about the healthcare system if I weren’t pregnant. So all the stress - so many crash courses during the nine months and after, Covid, whether the flight tickets of our parents would get canceled, the ever changing regulation on whether you can have help even we had some funds saved. So many problems cannot be solved just by prioritizing more, or showing vulnerability more. It comes down to sacrifice in many cases. While there are clear studies showing the career growth gap after motherhood, more and more people share their success stories and not many people want to acknowledge the challenges behind it.

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